The Hot Pocket from 2009

I ate the Hot Pocket.

"You wouldn't want that in 2009, why the hell are you taking it home?" said D, who works for me at the day job. The best-by date was in 2010, which gives you an idea of how long it had been in the freezer at work. It also gives you an idea of how infrequently we clean out the fridges/freezers at work. Lately, though, I've been thinking about freeganism - subsisting on what other people discard as a statement against waste and consumerism. Eating this Hot Pocket (calzone - cheese and pizza sauce) seemed like an excellent starting point, even if I hadn't bought it and even if I didn't particularly savor it.

I do enjoy these points of conflict between the modern ethicurian code (local, whole foods, organic) and other ethical concerns (waste). Aside from one of the Doritos Locos products at Taco Bell, I can think of few other foods that would so alarm a Pollan or a Bittman as a Hot Pocket, a highly engineered package of processed carbs filled with industrial cheese. Still, I think there is no greater imperative in ethical eating than shrinking the overall scale of agriculture, so that consuming a food that would otherwise be landfilled is itself an important action.

I have suffered no ill effects - the Hot Pocket went through me at the usual pace and in the usual form. It tasted stale around the edges but otherwise not too bad. It was fast and easy to make: three minutes in the microwave and two minutes to rest and let the heat even out. I don't think I'll be buying anymore Hot Pockets, but I'll pick them out of the trash again.